Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
