i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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