He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
