I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
