Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
