I wish my penis had an off switch
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Randomize
