Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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