I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
