Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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