dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
