i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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