And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
