My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
