like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
