She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
how drunk are you?
Several
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
