Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize