I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
