well I can't set my house on fire every night
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
