i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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