im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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