Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
