just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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