Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
