Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
