So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
