What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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