Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
