it was like his penis was on wheels.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
