Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
