Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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