the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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