Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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