Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
