thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
