your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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