right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
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Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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