And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
