I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize