i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
