youre lurking in front of me
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
