I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
