Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
