I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
