Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I wish there were birth control emojis
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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