The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
