During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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