Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
