Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
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You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
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Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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