i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
