used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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