I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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