I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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