Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
