Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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