This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
there's paper in my vomit.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
