You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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