if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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