East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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