I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
