I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
