Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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